first mile

I just completed my first mile. For every mile I walk, run, or swim until the end of May I will raise some money for Love 146. If you'd like to sponsor me per mile it's not too late. (my goal is 50 miles)
So, I was walking and listening Brett Dennen on Pandora. I've been listening to Brett, on Pandora, for a couple of years. I was thinking that I would describe Brett as being like Tracy Chapman, but better. By the end of my walk I discovered that Brett is not a black woman, as I have thought for 2 years. Brett is a 30 yr. old white guy. It's extra funny because back in the day I used to think Tracy Chapman was a white guy.
I really enjoyed my walk and had time for some thinking (it was just Graham and I). I was thinking how people often view music, movies, books, and art as an escape from reality. But those things are just as real, if not more. We have two lens to look through. The one lens sees that a dirty diaper is just a dirty diaper and a traffic ticket is just a pain in the arse. The other lens sees the quotidian as a little more mysterious. In order to use this lens you need to stop and observe.
Maybe we do turn to art, books, and music for an escape. Perhaps you need an escape from something in your life right now, or you can create something with what you are escaping as a way to make sense of it all and share it with someone else.
Ok, off to change a dirty diaper!

in spite of all the crying

It's good to be a girl. (I never refer to myself as a women, unless I'm singing Whitney Houston's song). I often tell Doug that he is really missing out; which is in response to him saying, "I'm so glad I pee standing up."
Doug can't imagine how I deal with all these emotions I have. Yes, as a woman I analyze things and break down our social encounters to how everyone might have felt when so and so said such and such. I believe in treading ever so lightly with other people's feelings and emotions. Doug, and the other boys, believe that you should just cut to the chase, break it down, and then move on. Have you watched men do this? It's amazing how they can be brutally honest and not give it a second thought. They even get away with pinching each other's stomach fat. I think it takes men years to learn to navigate a conversation with women that avoids all the mines that are our feelings. And still, once they've learned how to deal with our delicate state we throw out tricks like, "Do these pants make me look slimmer." His reply, "yes." Her reply, "Are you saying I need to look slimmer?" If his reply was "no", she would say, "Are you saying I look fat?"
I do think the crying part of being a girl is bitter sweet. I like that I have great compassion for all living and some non-living things. Doug reminded me yesterday that I cried when Martha Stewart got arrested. I was concerned with how she'd fair in the joint. I'm not even a fan of her. However, I was pregnant at the time.

i'm an artist, a poet, a musician, and there is more to come

I've spent a lot of my life living into how others view me. In high school and college many of you thought of me as the fun girl. My mission then, be the most fun and keep topping your idea of just how fun I could be. I didn't always feel like being fun, but there was a fear I'd lose my title.
I was an average student until Mr. Glidden, junior year at Avon, told me he thought I should be in the honors English class. I ended up acing his class and embracing the idea that I could be a good student. I majored in Secondary Education English.
Words and expectations can be powerful, very powerful. Just think of the power you can wield for good in someone else's life.
However, now that I'm 35 I'm finding that the power of other people's opinions of me can be harnessed. I don't want to care what people think in some regards. I just can't. Over the last 10 years I've embraced the fact that I don't know it all, or in some cases, very much. But, I have a passion for learning and hearing other people's point of view. I've learned that sometimes it's more important to learn other's views than to have a stance of my own.
And, for the title of the post. I love art, singing, dancing, writing, and thinking. I've never considered myself to be a master of these things, or someone who could get paid to do them. But, I'm going to pursue them and I don't care if you like my art, singing, dancing, or writing (you may not even see any of it happen.) It's my own little joy and treasure. I'm not waiting for someone to declare that I'm these things,I'm declaring it for myself.
Perhaps you've always wanted to be something. Go ahead: you are, you can be.

world water day

We truly take for granted that we have an abundance of clean water. Not only do we have plenty to drink, but clean water for our beautiful lawns, clean cars, and I bet we could actually drink the water the flushes down our excrement.
Helping others get this clean water is a very simple solution to right many ills in the world.
Doug visited an girls orphange and school to see the new water purification system that our churh bought. Many of you helped raise the money. Another system was needed for the school and has been purchased, but $750 more is needed to get it installed and get all the equipment needed.
If you'd like to help with this, in honor of world water day, leave a comment and I'll tell you how.

Spencer is 4!

Our little sweetie turned 4 last Saturday. He is such a joy and full of compassion. He likes to keep the peace around here, especially with Maegan. I have to serve as his advocate, making sure she doesn't take advantage of his adoration for her. She hit him in the face yesterday and Doug said he could go hit her back. (Sorry if this shocks you. This isn't part of our parenting plan or philosophy. You just find yourself tired and crazy sometimes. We all need a little spontaneity in our lives, and this is ours.) Spencer ran back to Maegan's room and said, "Maegan, Dad told me to hit you, but I don't want to."
He also smiles despite the misery he has right now after his adenoid surgery. He is smiling now because he is on his second episode of cartoons. I'm bribing him with the TV. If he lets me put Vaseline on his nose he can watch cartoons. Again, judge if you wish. If we don't use the Cathode ray therapy his nose tissues will never heal.

unscientific thoughts on spiritual compost

I was thinking about compost the other day. We've had a composter thingy back behind the shed that we haven't ventured to use yet. You know how it is, it can be daunting to do something new.
I started to think about how now I neatly tie up all our garage into little bags and set them out for someone else to haul away. Nice and tidy, no smelly stuff sitting around fuming, gone from sight. I can even light candles to make sure nothing stinks at our house. Do you see where I'm going with this?
What if I took all the things that seem like trash, and kept it. What if I held onto my garage;, not carrying it around with me, of course, but putting in a pile behind where I live. Every once and awhile I'll go out there and stir it up, change up the layers and watch it turn into something that stinks, but can nourish other things for growth. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Jesus, Surfing, and Chuck E Cheese

For Lent our family is unplugging on Sundays, and on those nights we do a family devotional time. I love these devotions (that I found online) because they make us use our imaginations.
We read a passage from the Bible that is from Jesus' life. Then there are some questions that involve us closing our eyes and picturing Jesus being with us. What would we say to Him, what would he say to us?
It has been neat to hear what the kids have to say, and even for Doug and I to sense relief just being with Jesus.
The first night I asked Spencer what He pictured Jesus doing during a difficult time. Spencer said, "I see Jesus and His angels by my bed. I see a shadow...but it's Jesus'."
Last night we talked about Jesus amazing us. I had the kids close their eyes and I told them to imagine themselves at the beach. There is a man coming down the beach in a bright white robe and His face is shining like the sun (we had read about the transfiguration for our passage). It's Jesus! He says, "Maegan, Spencer, you are chosen to be in my family and you are loved." Then He walks with them down the beach. When we all shared how we felt walking with Jesus Maegan was most struck by Jesus saying she was chosen to be in His family and she thanked Him. Spencer's imagined that he and Jesus decided to go surfing and then later went to Chuck E Cheese.
When I imagined walking with Jesus I immediately felt my shoulders relax and stopped worry about all my shortcomings.