We promise to post some more pictures as we gradually feel life return to our sleepless bodies :)
I've had lots of things I've wanted to blog about over the last week, but mostly I want to thank God. This last week has been full of high and lows, anxiety and elation, fear and hopefulness. Through it all I really tuned into God and grasped on to His presence. Sometimes I say things like "God was really present with me" but He is always present. It's just, many times I don't tune into Him being with me and ask for His help.
I was terrified of the c-section because the one I had with Maegan was a really bad experience. So, Friday morning I was very quiet...and this tends to freak Doug out because I'm not usually quiet. He kept nervously asking if I was all right. I just replied, 'I'm focusing.' I was doing a lot of talking to God, mostly saying, 'Please help me.' During the actual surgery, in my little draped arena, I remember God bringing a hymn to mind, and I just repeated it over and over in my head (wish I could remember which one.)
The main hope that got me through the week was that God's mercy is new every morning. I don't need to worry if he'll get me through whatever is to come, but just know that He has given me this day and He will provide.
You might be thinking, gee, she just had a beautiful baby, what was so traumatic about this past week. Well, a mix of pain, sleeplessness, fear, hormones, and narcotics can do a number on you. I would go from joy one hour to depression and fear the next hour. But each day has gotten better, thank you again God!
God has also given Doug many gifts that has blessed me. He has been a huge help and really been strong through my breakdowns and our lack of sleep. God is also using many of you who have brought me food and prayed for me.
Sorry this is long, but I just wanted to share a little of this past week. I will have some posts coming on the funny things Maegan and Spencer are saying about Graham. It's been fun to watch them get excited about their brother!
"The words were everything. They were the whole of my life as I had ever felt it and the whole of beauty as I had ever dared to suspect it." P. Tickle
2 comments:
I think it's neat you can't remember which song it was. It makes it that much more special, just b/w you and God. It is definitely so comforting to remember the promise that His mercies are new each morning and tomorrow is a new day!
Seeing your pictures of the three kids together makes me cry remembering how overjoyed I was when the whole family was together for the first time in the hospital after Reagan was born. That ranks right up there when I held E for the first time & with the "Oh look I'm bawling AGAIN" feelings of having D-D. Or was it, "when did we decide we could handle THREE?" feelings...not sure. They are all so beautiful. I wonder if the OD of ice cream made Graham grumpy? Hopefully he'll spring back to Moo-action soon! xoox
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